3 Steps To Communicate Better in a Relationship

Difficulty with communication is one of the main reasons why couples struggle. Couples who struggle with communication share some of the same struggles which is often something along the lines of :

Any of this sound familiar. No, I am not a psychic but these are some very common statements from lots of couples. 

So what can you do to help this communication? Here are some tips to help out with your communication. 

1. Different Realities

Take into account that your spouse has a different reality than you do and experiences things differently. This means that while you may feel that you are right in this argument, so does your spouse. Maybe, you both are right in your own reality. Once you accept that you have different realities, then you will be able to accept that what they are saying better.

2. Use I statements

I statements help you express your feelings without blaming the other person for your feelings. That sounds a little confusing, I get it. This is what it looks like. “I feel ____” without using the word you.  Ex. “ I feel alone when I am doing all the chores in the house”.

3. Active Listening

Active listening skills can help your spouse understand that you are indeed listening and are active part of the conversation. A quick and easy way to do this is by using the term “It sounds like you feel ____”. This does not mean that you agree with the other person just reflecting what you believe they feel at the moment. 

Use these three techniques to help you with your communication in your relationship. 

-Joaquin Martinez Jr., Marriage Counselor

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