• 3 Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship

  • You go on a date, you maybe brought flowers, you put on your best clothes, eat great food, have decent conversation, come back and two days later your relationship is still in the same place. 

    I often find myself asking the couples I work with in couples counseling about what are they going to do to make sure that the changes in their relationship is sustainable.

    The whole point of my couples therapy sessions is for the couple to not have to see me anymore because they have put their work in session into their everyday life. 

    Some of those tips for couples to put into their everyday lives are:

    1.  Celebrate Small Wins

    A small win can be anything that gets both of you closer to your overall goal as a couple. If your goal is to communicate more effectively than let each other know when you are communicating more effectively.

    This helps us and our significant others understand that we are doing a good job in this relationship. 

    That doesn’t mean you go out and have dinner every time one of your partner greets you. It does mean that you acknowledge each other for those little wins. Whether it’s by a small praise or an act of kindness, it’s nice to feel appreciated by our significant other. 

    2 . Make time to be a couple

    One thing my wife always told me is that she never wants to forget that we are a couple. This happens in a good amount of relationships because we get sucked into our daily routines. 

    Go to work, come home, eat, if you have kids make sure they are good, then go to sleep. This constant routine can make us forget that we are a couple and need to take care of each other as a couple. 

    My advice to couples is to make intentional time for each other. Whether you do it daily, weekly, or monthly, the objective is that you two carve out time to discuss your relationship and check in on how everything is going

    3 . Be Two Feet in

    Two Feet In means that a person has put their selves completely into the relationship without having an escape route. 

    Not being Two Feet in can cause: 

    • Self-sabotaging behavior 
    • Cheating 
    • Anger outburst 
    • Lack of communication
    • Lack of empathy for partner
    • Lack of trust

    When I speak to my clients about Two Feet In, I help them gain better understanding of their actions and whether they are Two Feet In or not in the relationship.  

    Once a person decides to be Two Feet In, then they will be able to allow their selves to be more accepting of the relationship and become a better partner. 

    Take these tips with you on to your relationship and enjoy your time tougher.

    -Joaquin Martinez, Marriage Counselor