• Top 5 At-Home Couples Therapy Exercises

  • The only goal I ever have for all the couples that I work with is that they don’t ever have to come back to see me. This may sound a little weird but essentially I want the couples that I work with to be able to work on their relationship without needing a person like me around. To do this I typically help couples understand crucial exercises that will help them in their journey. Here are the top 5 at-home couples therapy exercise that you can start now:

    1.Begin to use “I statement”

    I statements are used to discuss our feelings without giving up ownership of our feelings. An I statement is when a person states how they feel without using the word “you” or any implication of the other person. For example an I statement can be “ I feel unappreciated whenever I have to do all the household chores” . The response to an I statement is as important as the person responding give an “it sounds like statement”. The “it sounds like statement” is a summary of what that person just heard. 


    Person A says “I feel unappreciated whenever I have to do all the household chores”

    Person B says “it sounds like you feel like No one cares about everything you do”

    2. Discuss boundaries 

    Boundaries in relationships are everywhere but often rarely discussed. Clear boundaries help both members of a relationship understand what is ok to do and what to expect. When discussing boundaries it is important that both of you are clear and specific with your boundaries. Cloudy and vague boundaries creates space for misinterpretation that can lead to future disagreements. 

    3. Date each other

    Dating is important in any relationship. Without regard to how long you two have been tother the process of courtship is always welcomed. Think about how great you felt when you were being pursued or you pursued your significant other. A date can inspire some of those feelings. Here are some ideas for dating at home.

    4. Learn each other’s love languages 

    Love languages are different ways that we express and accept love. Knowing our own love languages helps us understand why we feel certain ways towards our spouse sometimes and understanding their love languages helps us understand how come they do certain things.

    5. Visit each other’s neighborhood 

    Think of your neighborhood of everything that makes you who you are. All the things you enjoy to watch, read, listen to, people you like to relate with, topics you enjoy discussing, talents, these are all  parts of your neighborhood. Now think about your significant other’s neighborhood and how much you may or participate in. In a relationship it is important to actively invite each other into each other’s neighborhood. This allows both of you to experience each other in a different way. 

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