• 2 Tips to Help Your Jealousy

  • Jealousy is a complicated topic to discuss because jealousy has many different components. The first thing to think about is that everyone feels jealousy. Jealousy is a natural human emotion just like any other emotion.

    So let’s talk about where are some places that jealousy can come from and what we can do with it.  

    Lack of Trust

     Whether you are lacking love trust, or intimate trust (explanations of these spectrums of trust here), a lack of trust often accompanies jealousy. Let’s just think this through. Let’s say you are constantly jealous at your spouse for having conversations with other people at their job. Then it is safe to say at this point that you may not necessarily trust your spouse around other people. 

    You may even say, “I trust you I just don’t trust them!” , which if you are being honest with yourself what you are really saying is that “I don’t trust that you can make the right decisions around these people”.

    Self-Esteem

    One of the main places that I begin to look into when I am speaking with a client about their difficulty with jealousy is their sense of self and self-esteem. What I have found in the past is that typically my clients with high levels of jealously also have low sense of self, and low self-esteem. 

    Having a low sense of self can create difficulty for you to truly accept who you are as a person. Likewise with low self-esteem that can create difficulty with you accepting that you are worth being with. 

    Steps to Help

    Now that you have an idea of what is going on, go ahead and start helping yourself.  

    1. Trust in Small Portions

    If you are having difficulty truly trusting your spouse then begin to work on trusting them for smaller things that are connected. 

    Work on trusting your spouse that they will go to pay at the cash register without getting into a relationship with the cashier. Use facts to deflect your statements that aren’t true.

    2. Positive Affirmation

    If you are having difficulty with your self-esteem then begin to work on feeling better about yourself. Use positive affirmation to remind yourself daily of the great things about you. Write a list of reasons why you are worth being with and carry it with you when you need to see it. 

    Try these things out and let’s see how your trust for your spouse goes.