• 3 Tips For Divided Households on Protest

  • In our household, we are in the position that George Floyd should be alive today. We are also in the position that for too long black and brown people in America have been marginalized, oppressed, gentrified, and disproportionately castigated by the justice system. Our unity in our thoughts in the subjects make us a lucky as not all couples and families have such unity on these subjects in their households.

    Here are some tips to help you navigate your relationship and household when you do not agree on such topical subjects.

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    Different Realities

    At different times in these blogs I have spoken on the topic of realities. Now more then ever the topic of reality hits home. A key to a relationship is understanding the differences in realities. Essentially, we all have different realities. Notice, I said reality and not perception. We may experience the same thing, go to the same football game, eat the same sandwich, be in the same room for a conversation and still have a different reality of the events that occurred. This does not make the other person’s reality right or wrong, just different. If we truly understand that our partners have different realities than us than we can begin to understand them through their realities rather than being upset at them for not sharing our reality.

    Listen to Each Other

    You know when someone is talking to you but you are not really paying attention, you are just formulating what your comeback is. That is not listening. True listening takes effort and is a committed effort. Listen to your spouse as you expect for them to listen to you. One way to make sure you are listening is by paraphrasing what your partner is telling you. This will make you have to listen so that you can respond with your paraphrase.

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    One Topic Does Not Make or Break Your Relationship

    Understand that one difference does not make or break your relationship unless you allow it. For some people, a difference in the current protest can seem like a steep mountain that the relationship can never overcome. The reality is that the mountain in your relationship is as steep as you allow it to be. While it would be nice that both of you have a similar opinion on such matters, it is not the end of the world. The differences may be a way to help both of you grow as people by accepting a different reality. Maybe through your differences you can find some places for middle ground that will create a stronger bond in your relationship.