• 3 Struggles In Military Relationships

  • At Encite Counseling we work with a wide array of couples. A good size of our couples are military veterans or one of the partners is a military veteran. Here are some of the common struggles we with our military veteran couples. 

    It’s crucial to make this clear before you go on reading this list that not every relationship that a veteran is in will have these struggles. These are just a collection of common struggles that I have noticed couples with veterans have in common.    

    Pushing feelings and emotions on a veteran

    Going through military training is a great way to learn to suppress feelings. Feelings are not helpful during high stress military moments. It is this constant state of suppression that makes discussing feelings for vets difficult later on after their discharge. 

    A helpful way to help your vet partner discuss their feelings is by practice active listening. Feeling heard allows everyone to speak more. 

    Jumping to Solutions

    There will be times that your vet partner will want to discuss their feelings. It may not be Shakespeare, but it is in their own way. This is a great time to listen and not solve their problems. Solving their problems might make them feel belittled or not understood. 

    People can solve their own problems and surely your partner can too unless they ask for help. 

    Miss the Theme

    Because speaking about feelings may be difficult your veteran partner may speak to you about their feelings in themes. Typically what this means is that the person is saying things about a specific feeling without mentioning that feeling.

    An example would be if your partner is discuss that they are having a hard time getting things done, nothing seems to go right for them, they don’t understand why they cant make things happen. 

    The theme may be that they aren’t feeling good about their selves. Catch the theme and discuss the theme. 

    Always remember you are not alone. Send us an email or call us at any time and we will help in any way possible. 

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